I’ve been thinking . . .

Mother’s Day. It’s a tough one for many of us. On this day I reflect upon the absence of my own mother, my journey as a mother, and the dozens of women I guide into motherhood each year. Even though personally, it is a day tainted with sadness, I focus on the appreciation I have for moms and the journey through motherhood.

Being a childbirth educator is, for me, a sacred walk. Every five weeks I meet a new group of couples embarking on a journey into the unknown. My job is to try and prepare them for what has no words but must be experienced to truly comprehend– birth.

I want them to know the sacredness of this journey and how the joys of parenting are often felt more deeply than almost any other feeling humans are capable of having. And the challenges are great, too. And I want to prepare them, the best one can be prepared, for birthing.

Memories of Motherhood

My mind flashes to so many of the mothers that have imprinted my memory this year.
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​I think of the parents who have been trying to conceive for the last year after having miscarriages, or those who are trying to conceive without success. One couple comes to mind who successfully used HypnoBirthing for their first child. Five years had passed when she called and asked for help with hypnosis.

During our initial meeting, she is stoic as she relays her journey to become a mom again. After a successful IVF, she lost the baby after 12 weeks. Patiently they waited the required time and once again went through the IVF process. They breathed a sigh of relief after the first trimester and keep their fingers crossed that this little one stays full term. A twenty-week ultrasound shows the placenta stoutly sealing the cervix.

“The subconscious mind is a funny thing. “I tell her and share how it takes us quite literally. She was determined she was not going to lose this baby. As an older mom, she was keenly aware the biological clock was shutting down. IVF could drain their finances. What does her body do? It seals the cervix to make sure this one doesn’t come out. Subconsciously, problem solved!

Now we have awareness. We have a map of the beliefs we work to erase. We can thank the subconscious mind for its protection and get on with using hypnosis to move that placenta to a more acceptable position.

We did.

Or, more accurately, she moved it with her mind. She was able to naturally birth a baby girl.

Easing a Baby Into The World

My thoughts wander to the mom who birthed in the hall. A first-time mom she wasn’t really sure if her sensations were strong enough to be the ones that meant the baby was coming. During this time of COVID, the doula, observing social distancing, assessed her through the visual cues on the computer and the sound of mom’s voice. To an experienced doula, mom didn’t sound at all like a mom in transformation. But when they hung up, mom didn’t make it from the office to the bedroom before a baby boy made his gentle and quiet debut to the world.

I pause to reflect on the single mom who came for several hypnosis sessions as she prepared to give her baby up for adoption. I admire her courage as I think of her love for that baby. Together we walked through the sacred ground and bore witness to the complexity of fate and destiny. We were humbly reminded we have little control over the destiny we planned before we came here.

I look at the letters, notes, and emails, pinned to the wall above my computer. Each is a gentle reminder of the reason I do this work. I am grateful.

I hope YOU feel loved and appreciated this Mother’s Day.